A Five Step Decompression Guide for Black Girls Who Get Seats*/** at White Unaware and Unconscious Tables During the Work Day

*this is not Solange's Seat at the Table
**not a church pew

Me leaving work more often than not:

See when the microaggressions occur, the Black girls I know do one of the following:

Black Girl A: She tired. She's generally irritated at work. When it happens she *rolls eyes* and ignores whatever is going on.

Black Girl B: She trill. As soon as said microaggression occurs she throws JUJU ON THE BEAT and snaps on any and all people present.

Black Girl C: She petty. She immediately says something in direct contradiction to the microaggression. They say: Oh, you know like Beyonce would do. Black Girl C: Who's Beyonce?

Anyway, here are five steps for getting your mind right after working all day among Whiteness.

1. Call another Black girl. Call ya mom. Ya little sister. Ya best friend. Ya turnt auntie. Call somebody. Make sure you turn your voice recorder on your phone first! Spit out every microagression that you witnessed and each #distewmuch response you had in your head. The voice recorder will catch it and you can use those responses in real life next time.

2. Music therapy. Whatever it may be for you, just find some Black AF songs that get you hype and twerk/dance/sing yourself back in to your righteous African mind. Some suggestions? Try this. Or maybe this. and if you really need it... this.

3. Call one more Black girl (or call the first one back again). Let's face it, you forgot at least two OTHER things that happened. Something about booty shaking realigns your brain to make your memory clearer. There's some science there I'm sure. 

4. Fight the urge to medicate with sugar or alcohol but definitely do something to treat yourself well. Happy hour after work is fun and a definite goal of most #professionalBlackgirling but don't let your reward for surviving #whitenonsense be rooted on things that don't do good to your body. The good time with friends can be your celebration... and have a drink because you can! But also take a good bath, wash your clothes, get a good nights rest, make it to yoga in the morning...honor yourself for being a warrior against white supremacy without shame!

5. Write it all down and count it all joy. Write it down because some day, some other Black girl is going to want to read YOUR notes. Find out how YOU did it. Counting it joy is not a way to turn apples to applesauce or peaches to cobbler - it is a conscious reminder that your awareness of this stuff is what liberation is made of.  We have to be able to learn about ourselves in the most uncomfortable and challenging of spaces in order to better understand how we can deal with one another as we work towards freedom. Your notes on this will be needed for the test, ya'll! Get writing!

PS - For any the non-POC friends reading this, here's some literature for you chew on!

This list was originally posted on my Facebook page after a white man I was sitting on a panel with asked me about the great things happening in the inner city of Milwaukee. Me: Oh! That's nice, I haven't had the opportunity to travel that way. Do you recommend any good restaurants. 

I'm petty.

Peace after rEVOLution,

Monique